Eyes Closed Waiting

Old man, your eyes closed
you sit, staring nowhere
Open your eyes, see
what you are missing

That sad song, you hum
under your breath
brings rain, but
also too many tears

Old man, your eyes closed
you sit, staring nowhere
Don’t sit so still
for death will find you, and

across your lips, will write
all those silent words
only Grandmother Moon understands
Stop now, don’t follow her

to that place
where all shadows end
Our hearts still love you
Stop now, open your eyes

Finding Everything in a Fall Moment

Before snow falls
I shall walk barefoot
upon nature’s pastel carpet
of fresh fallen autumn leaves

Just the right place will appear
to park my tired bones, and
soak in fall’s magic
hugging me tenderly
as only a grandmother can

And, before sun sets, just
beyond the faded old barn
I will smile, in warm adoration of life

And once the sun sets
and the moon rises full
I will say in complete satisfaction
I have truly lived

Life’s Paradigm Shifts

Life changes sometimes, in major ways
Those markedly different, than what we know
Ways resembling tectonic plate shifts
building, unseen, over time

Paradigmatic changes: destroying old foundations
creating new ones, undergirding our being
Changes taking us back, to our essence
To the beginning seed, we didn’t know we were

Suddenly, there we find ourselves
like a new seashell, washed ashore
to be collected and transported, or
left as material for tomorrow’s beach

Easy answers escape us at these times
All questions new, too unformed for our lips
But one thing for certain
change is, and change we are

Hanging in there, but for what?

Give up, life ends
Hold on, life lingers with you
like an extra breath
you never knew you had

Like daylight savings time
you get more time to shine
Forget who you are, and
everything you lived for totals nothing

Swim to the ocean’s bottom
There you start over
like the sun every day, and
like each evaporating moment

Then, there is the time in between, when
nothing before or after
can free you, like
you can free yourself

Meeting Pleiades

So distant, high above, you seem
but your voice, clear, without words
Incessant light, whispering through me
No escaping you, now
that you fill me

In the early morning darkness
I glimpse you, and
for the first time, see
my face written in the stars
Not the face of a man, but destiny

No longer, can I think of myself
Those thoughts, hopeless
as an imagined oasis in the desert
But as my eyes meet the Heavens
you plant unity in my soil

And in one voice with many, I hear
Kimah, Al-Thurayya, Mao
Kartikeya, Hoki Boshi, Tianquiztli
fluttering in the wings
of a flock of awakening doves

Finding Our Way

Sometimes we find ourselves, lost
on roads, carrying us places
we never intended to go
Lost, not because of the road
but because our feet
always obedient to our inner compass
follow directions given them

At times, what we want leads us astray
carrying us in directions never intended
yet places reflecting, what we desired
thought we wanted
hoped for deeply
These times continue, until
the right compass is born inside us

Then, new bearings take root
New directions emerge
Right roads appear
And then, no matter where we are
what we pursue
where we walk
Happiness greets us

Parallel Universes Inside Us

Like me, do you wonder
about parallel universes?
Subtle places, inside us
not outside us
Yet, out of reach
with our hands, conscious thinking-minds
Deep pools for reflection
mirroring our thoughts, feelings, actions
in archetypal ways
Like an ocean’s bottom
is read by sonar

Some say, there is a rabbit hole
cutting through the universe
ignoring all space and time
Starting one moment before Genesis
ending one moment after Revelations
Seems more likely
this tunnel is inside us
connecting conscious and subconscious

Like you, I want to know…
whatever there is to know
about these places
how to get there
how to get out, once there
and back safe and sound

Does Continental Airlines fly there?

Morning Coffee

Wake up, smell the coffee
brewing since 5 AM
Sweet hazelnut aroma, drifting
like a tantalizing cloud, into the bedroom
stirring us, tickling us awake

That first sip, like a first date
magical, overflowing with curiosity, desire
Some mornings, transporting me
to ancient Turkey, Ethiopia, Persia
Never McDonald’s, though
some swear by its brew

Two mugs later
wits about me
Hitting on all pistons
Mind, body revved
All systems go
Ready, to face the world

Dancing Words onto the Page

Write, defying reality with your words
Bend it, like no gravity holding it in place
because there is none
other than your hesitation

The blank page reaches out to you
lusting for your touch
At times, gentle as a summer breeze
Other times, rough, impatient as the shark’s jaws
clasping big ideas riveting readers

The page, your partner
brings emptiness
drawing out your heart and soul
into the magical creative dance
you only learn as you go

Waltz, tango, disco, rumba if you will
your way to unvisited places
Those where you leave your scent
like some wild animal
marking uncharted territory

Really good ideas often hide, sometimes
like a stealthful great horned owl
camouflaged by darkness in high branches
Listen for wisdom in your words

As the dance ends, remember
any finish line, one you draw with your words
Trust them
They always seem to know the time

How Important is Sports Really?

Old habits die slowly, if ever
I like sports
Not as much as in my younger years, but
it matters to me
if my favorite teams win or lose

Right now, I’m pissed at myself
Letting sports scores determine my mood
I’m grumpy as hell
It’s the close of baseball season
My team, the Cleveland Indians
lost yesterday to the pathetic KC Royals
How could they?
What were those idiots thinking?

Every game matters, from here on
if the Indians are to win the Central Division
and make the playoffs
Now they face the Tigers
in a bitter 3-game series
Detroit will be loaded for bear to erase
its 4 1/2-game deficit with Cleveland
Grrr…

Intellectually, I know
sports is not that important
Emotionally, I’m a midget
when it comes to sports’ importance
All my high falootin spiritual training is useless
in the face of my well-ingrained
“we gotta win to be happy” life philosophy

Ok, let me get hold of myself
What’s most important in the world?
Our nation is fighting a stupid war in Iraq
The planet is severely environmentally stressed
Millions of people go hungry everyday
Our kids are short shrifted in school
The economy is teetering on recession
These are important issues
Now I have my priorities straight

Shit, what’s this breaking news story?
My high school alma mater lost to Bellaire
by three measily points on Friday
How could they?
Those friggin’ idiots…

Books

Filling our heads with ideas
Ones we might otherwise not think
Opening our hearts, making them flow
Creating memories, lasting forever

Stepping into another’s shoes, and
stretching our sense of self
Revealing make-believe worlds, and
birthing new ones needing to unfold

Bestowing upon us powerful words
changing our worlds
Teaching us order and flow
in times of chaos

Loosening us up
keeping us from turning into stone
Giving us meaning and hope
Letting our eyes feed our soul

Words for My Work

My work: helping communities, businesses prosper
so there are good jobs for people
Not what I set out to do…
what I discovered, after graduate school
that’s helped me prosper
Beats selling snow to Eskimos

Thirty years, been my work
Researching, planning, staging decisions
testing new ideas, opening doors
raising money, resolving conflict,
evaluating progress, and
occasionally pulling rabbits from hats

Fulfilling work, mostly
but demanding, stressful
Always selling my wares
keeping my name in front of clients
Admin sucks, especially taxes
Getting checks in the mail, much better

Dealing with egos, a part of the job
especially high-minded politicians, business CEOs
At times, big shots roll over you, like tanks
Being a lightening rod, for new ideas
and when change is needed
Sometimes your butt gets fried

Poetry helps me balance
Averts self-combustion
Keeps my right brain alive
Something else is brewing
Somewhere between consulting and poetics
Stay tuned, it feels alchemical

Missed You While You Were Gone

Three days, you’ve been away
I’ve missed you
like Charlie Brown missed Lucy
when her family moved across town

Last night, out of habit
I set out two cups for morning coffee
Seeing yours empty this morning
filled my heart with loneliness

Cleaned the kitties’ boxes
without you asking
Fed your bird friends…
all twelve feeders, to the brim

Sensing my missing you last night
the kitties curled up next to me
Lily kneaded my arm
till she fell fast alseep

Even with the sprawling cats
our bed felt king-size empty
without your warm cuddly body
nestled next to mine

The slight hint of perfume
you left on your pillow, reminded me
I’ve loved your sweet scent
from our first date and kiss

Can’t wait to see your black Infiniti in the drive
and watch you size up your slumbering flowers
We hug. I sniff the baby soft nape of your neck
You coo: “Boy, am I glad to be home”

Taking Sri Aurobindo’s Life Divine to Dinner at Cracker Barrel

Study consciousness
Eventually you’ll encounter Life Divine
Not nirvana itself, but
Sri Aurobindo’s 2,000-page opus
on consciousness and the cosmos

Not light reading any time
Especially not over dinner
at an exit ramp Cracker Barrel
35 miles southwest of Rolla, Missouri
But with a paper on Life Divine due Saturday
The tome was my travel companion

Everything was fine
until an older couple sat down next to me
They size me up, I size them up
They smile, I smile
The woman speaks first
“That there’s some big book”
I reply: “Yes, m’am, it sure is”
We continued studying each other
I hoped she would probe no further

She fires a follow-up question
“What’s it all about?”
I breathe deeply, finally a few words come out
“Well, it’s a religious book”
At this point, her husband jumps in
“Is that right. Too big for the Bible!”
My stomach knots
I’m a gonner if I tell them about Life Divine
I fudge: “It’s a companion text to the Bible”
Their eyes cross at this point

The woman is at me again: “You a religious man?”
What could I say?
“Why yes m’am, I am”
She hisses, showing her missing front tooth
“I just knowed it!”
“Can’t you tell Herb, just lookin’ at him?”
Ole Herb smiles
I count three teeth missing in his mouth
“Yep, I agree Thelma, you kin just tell”
I’m thinking…oh shit, now I’ve really had it

I try to change the subject
“Food’s great here. I had the chicken and dumplings”
“Sure is. Herb and me eats here every Tuesday”
She’s a bulldog, refusing
to let go of the meat of our conversation
“What church you go to?”
Shit, I’m really dead now
Can’t tell them I’m a cross between
a Tibetan Buddhist and a Unitarian
I lie: “Nazarene”

Herb and Thelma look at each other, and
in unison say: “You here for that Nazarene revival?”
“I’m afraid not, just here on business”
Thelma’s back at it
“You always been a Nazarene?”
I fire back: “Sure have. My whole life”
“We’re Pentacostal
Lord’s blessed us with some fine preachers
Hey, you look like an evangelist to me”
This has gone too far
I feel beads of sweat on my forehead

Suddenly my waiter shows up
I think; there really is a God
“Anything else for you sir?”
“No, just my bill, thank you”
The young man hands me my check
I push a twenty his way
telling him to keep the change

Hurriedly I say goodbye to ole Herb and Thelma
They look confused
I feel for them, but
no amount of words
will heal their confusion
We exchange goodbyes
and I’m gone

I get to my car
Oh shit, I left Life Divine
sitting on the table
I rush back into the restaurant
Heading for the table
I see Herb walking my way
waving and screaming
“Hey, you forgot that big religious book on the table”
I thank Herb, praying
he did not open the book
and see the long-haired bearded Sri in his ashram
Herb looks in tact
I’m relieved

Driving back to the motel
the Sri and I resolve ourselves to room service
for the rest of the trip

Pondering Something Larger

We’re borrowed, from something larger
Not borrowed like a cup of sugar
from the next door neighbor
Nothing that simple, or sweet

We can’t quite grasp this something
therefore, no idea its size, our size
In this case, size REALLY doesn’t matter

This something, beyond space, time
any physical properties, dimensions
No location; neither here nor there

This something, identityless
No face, gender or name
like Yahweh, Jehovah, Brahman

Neither this nor that, because
it has no divisions or parts
like a car, body or solar system

Since we’re borrowed
we don’t own ourselves
We owe it all
to this something larger

Kitty Treats

Kitty treats:
small fishy morsels
Animal cracker shapes
Candy to the three calicos
Early evening snacks
tiding them over till dinner

Gobbled whole
like the whale swallowing Jonah
One difference though:
treats eaten, never again
see the light of day
Lucky for Jonah, it was a whale
not a cat, devouring him
Lucky whale, cats don’t like water

Washed Free, Starting Over

torrential downpour, all night
washing away, everything
we worked for, created together
things hoped for, not yet realized, drown
in our own hopeless tears
the ground we planted our lives in, gone

with all lost, we still have each other
two seeds washed clean, waiting
for the morning sun
flooding us with hope, lifting us up
readying us for the new garden
where only new beginnings grow

Fourteen in ’65

Fourteen, the perfect age
Awkward bliss
Time stood still, and
everything in life led to something
Life lesson at fourteen:
Adventures have no deadends

Girls, a mystery deeper than Saturn’s rings
but, worth losing sleep over
Cars, faster, noisier the better
Even in ’65
’57 Chevies, still tops

Vietnam, flaring up
beyond what anyone ever expected
LBJ, President, though he didn’t want to be
Most still wished, Kennedy back from the dead

Churchill, dead, five days after my 14th birthday
Just a famous name to me
until hearing the TV replay
of his We Shall Fight Them on the Beaches speech
Then I understood
why you must fight back, and
even sometimes, pick a fight

I Can’t Get No Satisfaction
I Can’t Help Myself
Wooly Bully
My Girl
You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’

Top songs, 1965
Songs still playin’ in my head

We’re 42 years past 1965, but
it’s not too late
to stop in the name of love

A Fall Day Robert Frost Would Adore

Rust-colored leaves, tumble helplessly
from the big front yard maple tree
No wind
Just their time to let go

Stateman-like bluejays, squawk nonstop
Warning all, red-tail hawks circling
eyeing plump mourning doves, in pairs
in the red cherry trees

Two baby garter snakes
wearing bright yellow necklaces
like those girls wear to a debutante ball
writhe on the dusty garage floor

Flowers, enroute back to seeds
Their nectar, still sweet, enticing
monarch butterflies to cling
to their sticky honey

The older man, leaning
against the weathered wooden fence
a spitting image of Robert Frost
casts an approving look my way
I know then, nothing more need be said

At Day’s End in the Forest

Retreating September sunlight
Last traces…
creamsicle-orange glows and streaks
poking through tree openings
Marking day’s end

Rustling sounds draw closer
White-tailed doe, spotted fawn emerge
from forest darkness
Young seedling leaves–
an awaited bedtime snack

Sun’s last rays slip
below an outstretched horizon
Pale blue-gray evening light
descends upon forest shadows
Doe and fawn disappear into their own footsteps

Wanting

I want. All of us do
I become what I want, and
so do you
Like a car’s engine
desire drives us
in the direction of our wants

The Devil’s playground, some say
the root of all suffering
Uncontrolled, victimized by our desire
Too much wanting
and wanting for wanting’s sake
surely leads us all astray

Yet, what is left
when all desire, taken away?
Should we even want
an end to our wanting?
Can we end what is
at the very seat of our soul?

Surely what brings us pleasure
also brings us pain
True of time, money, even laughter
and so much more
A price for everything
no matter what you name

Temper we can
how much we want in life
Done best through sacrifice…
Saying no to more
Passing on second helpings
Giving to others with less

Yet, with our temperance
is there ever an end to wanting?

To Be Young Again

Thoughts race backwards…
when I was a boy

There were challenges
but mostly adventures
not necessarily problems
Growing up issues you outgrew

Life was simpler, certainly than now
Less money, more freedom
Fewer commitments, more open road
Not quite Jack Kerouac freedom, but
lots of room for imagination, and fun

Ideas came easier then
Wild ones, like
being the best baseball player ever, or
a famous world adventurer
Back then, it was ok
imagining beyond your reach
Now, I’m not quite sure

No retreating from the present
Things are great, just different
More people and things to consider
even around small decisions
That’s what adults do, I guess

It’s ok to play hooky…
at least once in a while
Let that inner child dream, play
imagine something beyond his reach
Hey, maybe I’ll be a millionaire

The Rhondas

Three 30-somethin’ gals from the sticks
dressed to the nines, country western garb
singin’, playin’ their hearts out
Stompin’ up and down on the stage

The Rhondas, they call themselves
Don’t know why, but the name fits
Means “noisy” in Welch
Maybe that’s why

Harmonizing, sweeter than honey
Songs ’bout backroads West Virginia
down an’ out factory workers, dirt-poor farmers
distraught mommas, agonizin’ over aimless kids

Just three ole country girls
See ’em walkin’ barefoot down sunny dirt roads
Filling their lungs with music
Lettin’ it all out on a Sunday afternoon

1 in 13,983,816

$330 million
Last night’s Mega Million lottery prize
Not much to Bill Gates
To most people, a whole lot of money

Like Grandma’s apple pie
four winners, four equal pieces
I’m not one of them, though
I bought 50 tickets, hoping
God would smile upon me
sharing His abundance

1 in 13,983,816, the odds of winning
Only God navigates those betting waters
Odds of marrying a millionaire: 1 in 215
Sounds like a better bet
I didn’t do that either

TV in the ’50s

Always on, the ‘56 black and white Philco flickered promises
into crowded living rooms across America
A better tomorrow for working families
All it takes, stare hours at your TV screen
Let the subliminal messages do their work

Wishful thoughts, soaring away with Dinah Shore
You’re in the USA with a Chevrolet
What’s good for GM is good for America

In retrospect, we know better
Back then, what we bought was who we were

Many blamed TV for misdirecting youth
Bigger than life ideas filling their heads
Blame our Philco if you like
but there’s another side:
All those jobs in Pittsburgh, Cleveland, hanging
on whether folks bought the contraption
advertised during Phil Silvers Show

Diversion was our god, aided
by Lucille Ball, Jack Benny, the Marx Brothers
Making us laugh, rather than cry
as advertising created a nation of consumers
Having was how we found meaning

In another way, our Philcos, Zeniths
and GE TVs helped us get beyond
face-to-face sameness, filling
small towns across America
Hungry for new role models, TV provided them

For those growing up a long way
from New York City, Chicago, or Los Angeles
TV sets brought them closer
to the reality, soon changing us all
Perhaps we should be glad someone told us
even if it was Howdy Doody

As September Draws Nigh

Summer plans one final act, readying
to turn over the stage to autumn, whose invitations
out early this year
have captured the hearts of the sun, leaves
remaining flowers and birds

None can resist fall’s impending magical dance of color
its extravagance, spell-bounding beauty
The trees must sleep, after a long hardworking summer
The flowers return to seed, rejoining the earth birthing them
And the birds draw straws, seeing who will stay
and who will flock and head southward

With just a glimmer of sadness, I watch
as September draws nigh
the last of summer drift past my window
and autumn’s glorious color show begin

Our Attitude about Money

money isn’t the devil
some say it is
it’s a reality of our existence
and can be a resource for good

how we come by it matters, and
how we use it is important
not a ticket to happiness, and
many other things are more important

though, it concerns me
when folks disparage money
calling it the root of all evil
saying it doesn’t matter

it also worries me
when people only want money
don’t care about other people and things
believing money and life purpose are the same

our attention manifests the life we have
no more, no less
same is true with money, and
everything else in life

if there isn’t enough money in your life
ask yourself why
explore your deepest attitude about money
it may be an impoverished one

Unleashing the Child Within

children, so inventive
always something new
new things to do
new ways of doing
new ways of looking, and seeing

the child’s mind: nimble, malleable
open to the moment’s presenting
learning…a game
bringing joy and excitement
just for the sake of playing

as we grow older
mountains of beliefs, ideas
ways of being, expactations
bury our inner child

unleash your inner child
challenge him to leap these mountains
carrying you to fresh new starting points
just on the other side

Reflections on Rush Hour

I think of those people
trapped, in their Chevys and Toyotas
with their favorite lame radio talk show host
drinking up airwave poison
inching their way through stop and go traffic

A Dalai Lama moment seizes me:
Somebody taught these folks to drive
but forgot to teach them to think
I smirk, but glancing in the rearview mirror
see myself, also suffering
like the fish swimming in the bowl all about me

Each way, an hour or more
Trying to get somewhere
getting nowhere
Due to a bad hair day, their Imus is gone
A victim of self-combustion
But Howard Stern’s still there
interviewing guys, liking to suck women’s toes

My own fog aside, I cringe
watching the Goth chick next to me
engulfed in a thick cloud of cigarette smoke
Barely making out her University Hospitals parking sticker
I wonder, who’d come to her for healthcare
She passes me
I give thanks her window is up

Many, as they drive
sip and guzzle Starbucks grandes
As I reach my exit
a second Dalai Lama moment occurs to me:
Stop and go means something else to them

Showing Up

show up
like the sun, each day
nothing special asked
just be there
provide light, when needed
give warmth, always

special things happen
when we’re fully present
when we set ourselves aside
surrender to the moment
give ourselves to others
by simply being there

it starts by opening our hearts
reaching out with love
holding hands with truth
then, like the sculptor
setting free
what’s always longed to be beautiful

Dedicated to Jim and Elayne Devine
for their caring and sharing.

Meeting James Wright at Dutch Henry’s Bar in Martins Ferry

finally met up with him, one blustery cold friday night
saw him, sitting at the far end of the bar
hunched over a blue spiral-bound notebook
his right hand, like a machine gun
shooting words onto a shadowy white page

the only other time i’d been to dutch henry’s
was with uncle hank when i was eight
as my uncle pushed open the front door
he cautioned me: never bring a lady here
didn’t ask him why
but after my maiden visit
i knew exactly what he meant

i felt so important
just sitting on a bar stool next to my uncle
drinking a coke through a straw
listening in on his conversation with the two burly men
whose massive sandpaper rough hands swallowed mine
when we shook hands
somehow i knew one would ruffle my curly black hair
before our visit was over
jake, the taller fellow, did just that
not once, but twice

i never knew my uncle laughed so much

james looked older than i remembered
from his black and white celebrity photos
but i still recognized him
his heavy, black-rimmed glasses, were a dead giveaway
a balding portly man
his gut hung, like a small pouch of dough, over his belt

i reached him at the end of the bar
just as his left hand grasped the neck of his beer bottle
without letting go of his beer, and
only barely moving his torso
he swung his right arm around
extending his writing hand to me
managing just a hint of a smile
he said with a slight lilt “don, i presume. i’m james wright.”

his hand was soft and warm
i thought it would be rough and cold
from the hard life he had lived
it wasn’t till much later
i saw the thick writing callous on his middle finger
mine was negligible compared to his
but then, so is my poetry

he chugged the remains of his beer
we ordered another round
as i sat down next to him
i strained to read what he was writing
but his handwriting and the darkness prevented me
from making out even a single word
he didn’t offer, i didn’t ask

he asked when i had left martins ferry, and why
it was the why part he was after
i wanted to move on, talk about writing
and what it’s like once your poetry ends
why i left no longer mattered, but
why both of us returned, just for this visit, did
we both knew more than our poetry carried us away
from this near dead steel town along the ohio river

james made me feel like a mirror
allowing him to see himself
at first, i felt like some hyperbole to him
then i realized…
dead men can’t see themselves
then i understood why i was sitting
in the town’s dingiest bar, talking
with the ghost of martins ferry’s poet son

like james wright
i had seen autumn begin in martins ferry in 1963
he was long gone from this place
and well on his way to infamy
i was still there (here)
an aspiring player, galloping terribly against other young men’s bodies
on shreve high school football field

back then, every night i went to bed
dreaming about becoming somebody important
hoping to escape the choking smoke of the mills
and someday make a difference in the world
here i am 44 years later, literally dreaming
about meeting a dead poet in a bar
locals would remember far longer
than their town’s poet laureate

isn’t it odd how dreams and reality stare back at each other
not only in poetry
but also in fanciful meetings with long-gone poets?

#####

Author’s Note: Like the poet James Wright, I grew up in
Martins Ferry, Ohio. Wright died in 1980. Dutch Henry’s
is still serving drinks, and it’s still not someplace you
should take a lady. Someday I plan to sit at the end of the bar
and write a poem.

The Monarchs on Point Lobos

monarch butterflies, following their destiny
traverse the rockies and sierras in magical caravans
at the right moment, coming to rest in dense clusters
in monterey pines and eucalyptus plants on point lobos

perhaps it’s the call of the sea lions
catching rays on the staggered jagged rocks
or just their hearts beckoning them
to carmel’s deep peace and grandeur

in unison, their wings flutter in the cool ocean breeze
sweeping across the enchanted peninsula
always in pairs, they break away from the clusters
finding their way into the sunny meadows
flirting with the fragrant douglas irises and coffeeberry shrubs

until march, the monarchs call point lobos home
a safe haven where god stands watch
performing miracle after miracle
and where wintering monarchs invite their aquatic friends
the seals, sea lions, otters and whales
to help paint the breathtaking canvas

Larry’s Turning Point

the teachers called larry slow
kids were not so kind
to them, he was the village idiot
from the other side of the tracks

as a special education student
larry was stigmatized, ridiculed, teased
and treated as less than everybody else
though the butt of other boys’ jokes, larry played along
wanting attention, of any kind, from his classmates

teachers and the principal tried their best
to stop the boys’ malicious pranks
they were given detention
notes were sent home to their parents
nothing stopped them

sometimes problems solve themselves
that happened in larry’s case
one day, during morning recess
the boys convinced larry to remove his clothes
and run naked through the hallway

kids flooded the area
laughing hysterically, as larry emerged from the restroom
and began his first streak
he forced a smile
but his embarassment was obvious

then it happened
larry suddenly turned around, facing the boys
their laughter stopped abruptly
as they beheld, by far, the largest penis
any of them had ever seen in their lives
bigger even than their fathers’

the principal rushed to larry’s aid
covering him with his suitcoat
larry seemed grateful for the help
but pleaded with the boys to keep laughing
their laughter made him feel a part of them

after the streaking incident
the boys’ pranks and teasing stopped immediately
and for some reason
the girls suddenly took a liking to larry

Note: True story from my childhood. Names changed
to protect the innocent. Ok, I embellished just a little.

An Old Woman’s Memories of Her Father

the old woman sits on the park bench, alone
with her memories

most vivid, those from long ago
like in 1936, her father teaching her to drive

she still sees the dark gray ‘32 ford cabriolet
smells the black leather seats
and hears the sputtering sound of the engine
as the car climbs the steep hill near their house

fighting the tears, she remembers the ford
sitting in the garage, untouched for 3 months
after her father went off to the war
he never returned from

she still sees the chair, at the head of the table
where her father sat, empty
long after her mother died

now, she sits alone, remembering
small parts of her life, just before
darkness falls on the park bench
and death removes all memories

When a Man Grows Old

he wonders where his life has gone
with so little of himself left to get up in the mornings

the playful boy has a new home
and now walks the banks of the river
skipping stones with other boys

the young builder puts away his tools
to watch other young men build things

the wise gray-haired gentleman
living to counsel others
forgets more than he remembers
and concentrates on not spilling his morning coffee

the old man, living all week for a sunday walk
just sits in his chair, watching birds on the feeder
thinking of all that has been
wondering why autumn leaves surrender to the winter snow

A 1933 Ty Cobb Baseball Card

ty cobb, a.k.a tyrus raymond cobb
baseball hall of famer
driven man born in rural georgia
card #1 in goudy’s 1933 baseball card series

to teammates, the man always getting the needed hit
a guy who could steal home
as easy as bonnie and clyde robbed banks
but also the surly, arrogant sob nobody wanted to room with

to opponents, a ruthless competitor
sliding spikes up into second basemen
the devil sneering and glaring
stopping you dead in your tracks

to his friend “shoeless” joe jackson
a “stop at nothing” batting champ rival
one distracting joe at the plate
just to throw off his hitting

to fans, a magnificent hitting, running machine
they’d cheer each time he’d step to the plate
and too afraid to jeer
when he went down swinging

to detroit, the main reason fans showed up at tigers’ games
in 3,000 games, almost 4,200 hits
yet a man with few friends in the city loving his gamesmanship
perhaps that’s why henry ford never built a car called the “cobb”

to history, one of baseball’s greatest, but also
a player whose racial slurs made tempers flare
a man who thought, to his last game
negroes should always play in a separate league

a legend in so many other’s minds, but not in his own
those knowing ty cobb say, to himself, just a boy
trying not to disappoint his father
and go home a failure

to me, a prized 1933 goudy baseball card
a surprise gift from my wife
enjoying the hunt for trophy cards
even more than me

to the depression era boy, opening the waxed paper wrapper
finding the “georgia peach” in the pack, sheer uncontrolled delight
propelling him, like a rocket, through the neighborhood
proudly sharing his good fortune with envious friends
for his hand was the first to hold the card, now in mine

to those caring nothing about baseball cards
especially old musty smelling ones
just a colorful piece of cardboard
getting in the way of the slab of gum in the pack

in the larger scheme of things
a 74-year old door to history
kept open by someone
hoping others would walk through it someday

life doesn’t stop for us

life doesn’t stop for us
like some bus, picking us up, dropping us off
there’s no stopping what’s always been
and without reason
reinvents itself moment by moment

it just moves through us
that’s all it’s supposed to do
it’s not yours, or mine, to keep
given what it is
let’s not stand in its way
try to slow it down, or
even speed it up

don’t believe me?
let’s hold our breath
as though that changes anything
eventually, we’ll breathe
and life continues on

in case we’re wondering
death brings no end to life, only us
think naming things stops their becoming?
think again
better yet
just let life go on, and
let’s get out of its way

Trust Yourself

Don’t doubt yourself. Submit to the force of your own trust. You’ve survived worse: reams of self-doubt over a lifetime, plaguing you like death. You want others’ confidence. How can they, when there is nothing but terror and trepidation written on your face? Change it all. Trust yourself.

Note: If Charles Simic, our new Poet Laureate, can get away with this style, can’t I?

Sit-in Roadshow Stops in Tucson

Scorching hot mid-May morning
UA campus, Tucson
Just a week following Kent State
In psychedelic-colored secondhand school buses
faded tie-dyed VW vans
and even a few in slick ‘57 Chevies, they arrived

Pouring into the Park Avenue neighborhood
the unexpected California sit-in roadshow
clogs the western campus entrance
Throngs of half-naked, long-haired people
Some say, 20,000 strong
My guess, at least a couple thousand
beaded, bearded, barefooted, stoned Hippie freaks
descending, like outer space aliens
overpowering campus and city police
National guardsmen arrive, dressed to kill
Even they couldn’t disperse the sit-in
lasting two long timeless days

Joints burning well into the night
That familiar sticky sweet smell hovering
like a thick smoky cloud over campus
Enough for a contact high
just walking through the motley crowd
The dope was one thing, but for me
the music and dancing took the cake
Upon reflection…
maybe even better than Woodstock

Then, without warning
on the morning of the third day
they left, as quickly as they came
Taking nothing, leaving only
thousands of MJ roaches, empty wine bottles
and their handmade Make Love, Not War signs
Next stop? Santa Fe

A Soldier’s Last Songs

the eighty-two year old man
with the chalky white skin
and the permanently folded hands
lying in the casket
was the only one to know
the true reality at hand

his ability to see, no longer blinded
by his eyes, and other senses
his mind no longer gets in the way of his spirit
which waited all these years for release
he sees, in a different way, the shadowy figures
lurking, and flying about the room
like ancient winged creatures
right out of the alchemists’ Rosarium philosophorum

visitors paying last respects pour into the room
the shadowy figures multiple in number
like a mushrooming chorus
singing one familiar song after another
like the song of the children
where sons and daughters stand over their dad’s body
crying to be held just one more time
like the song of the grandchildren
wishing one more visit
to get to know the father of their parents
like the song of the wife
begging her husband to return to their bed
that tonight she might not sleep alone
there are no brothers or sisters
so this song, for now, goes unsung

then, the song of the friends, mostly older
streaming past the open casket, offering prayers
wondering when their time will come
among them, the man’s veteran friends
who sing the final song, the soldier’s song
reminding all of death’s disinterested stare

tears fill every eye in the room
as the haunting sound of taps
washes into the parlor
bringing with it
a legion of uniformed men
young and old
not from just one war, but all wars
one by one, they march past the casket
and with their voices lift up the man
and take him home

In Memory of Marie’s Father, Jack Keck

Transforming the Mental Onion

mind, like an onion
growing layer upon layer
each wanting to be peeled
explored
granted a reality
a wish to be more
anything transcending the layers

layers growing inside outward
each subsequent one larger
yet all the same, just layers
ripples on the mind’s surface water
curved lines with no beginning or end
no independent existence
never free of all else

in the end
just swirling circles
atop formless prima materia
seeking to become more
than an onion
in the alchemist’s flask

Note: Toss an onion into an alchemist’s flask and this is what you get. What do you get?

Grandma’s Ball of String

old and new, tied together
like the large ball of string
grandma saved and added to
for more than fifty years

a grandmotherly thing to do
not just save string, but
string together family
otherwise lacking connection

without strings attached
her love brought us together
nurtured and helped us grow
like tender young flowers in her garden

each expression of her love
a thread of hope
spun out to us
just when we needed it

even her unassuming smile
unraveled us, bringing laughter
at times tears
always helping us find ourselves

even after all these years
grandma’s ball of string is still working
sustaining us
connecting us to what matters most

Chance Possibilities

possibilities…
what we encounter in life
often less than a 50% chance
something will happen

chance…
not something we take, but
the nature of reality
and how it works

goals…
what we want
often not consistent with reality
also subject to chance

risk…
always there, get used to it,
roll the dice
chance the possibilities

Daily Mountains We Climb

tall mountains all about me
one, each day i climb

some stand for undying hope
others quiet desperation
each a promise, that
from my soul, i shall not hide

with each step, growing stronger
up tall mountains that i climb
circling some, worn trails upward
others, new paths yet to find

no fixed goal or final destination
steadfastly walking, in silent meditation
for there, with my soul i abide

Literally Not True

just words of men, seeking peace and truth
often simple letters, like you’d write a friend
meaning something at the time
to those for whom they were written

held up on high as holy words
by those who heard and thought they knew
words, it seemed, came straight from God

even now, debate the Bible we do
its words, their meaning, and
from whose lips these words first fell

no one answer, for all will work
my guess, not at all literally true

Bumble Bee

plump black and yellow bumble bee
pollinating creature you are
always on the move
never an idle moment in your day

your fuzzy body tickles flowers
uncontrollable laughter it ignites
your hum-like buzzing voice
gently carries in still morning air

drifting through the garden
beauty touches you, all along your way
determinedly moving flower to flower
giving and taking each stop you make

the cat in the window, sitting ever so still
invites you to play some dastardly game
need i say
you dare not partake

watching you makes me wonder
a favorite flower have you
your frequent stops, a clue perhaps
the sprawling shaggy veronicas
might be it, at least today

a wish offered to you and all other bumble bees
may flowers sprout a lifetime
and may summer last an eternity

Lines

lines in life, drawn between this and that
sometimes easy to draw
often hard to erase
once in place, leaving impressions
like those left by a full moon
on a farmer’s resting field
on a biting cold winter’s eve
like those cut by a determined river
following its surging heart to sea
like those etched into our faces
from years of smiling or frowning
and finally
like those in a poem
connecting and separating words
to give meaning

Fourteen

Charlie is all we think about, night and day.
There’s just one job over here: kill Charlie.
Hate is a terrible thing, but
it’s better than being deathly afraid.
Doesn’t take long to realize that.
War: kill or be killed, and that’s it.
Not very complicated, really.

The latest batch of boots just landed.
They’re just kids, with
no fuck-ing idea what’s in store for them.
369 days ago, I was a boot.
Seems like an eternity ago.
Stupid me. I enlisted, thinking
it can’t be all that bad.
What was I fuck-ing thinking?

You’re never ready for this hell.
There’s no easing into war with Charlie.
First impressions stick forever.
When I arrived in-country,
we hovered base camp, waiting
for 14 body bags to be loaded onto a Huey;
ironically the same number of boots on our chopper.
This place makes you superstitious.
14 has been permanently erased from my vocabulary.

A week ago, some bug started
working it’s way through the company.
Nothing brings any relief from the puking and shitting.
It just runs its course in 4 to 5 days,
leaving you limp as a rag.
The honey-dippers burn shit all around the clock.

In basic, you learn lots of stuff, but
they don’t tell you how awful this place smells;
how the odor of burned flesh lingers
for days in your mind, and
how you never get accustomed
to the smell of death.

And, they never tell you that you keep seeing things;
things nobody should ever see, even once.
But boys from Wapakoneta, Ohio, Sandy, Texas,
and other places nobody ever heard of, see things,
like what a claymore mine does to a man, or
what it’s like to see a man’s head explode like a ripe pumpkin
when hit dead-on with fire from a VC AK-47.
And, no amount of training prepares you to watch
a buddy hold another in his arms, rock him gently,
pretending to be the dying soldier’s mother.

Oh yeah, add me to the list of BK amputees.
The docs couldn’t salvage my lower right leg.
Tomorrow, they move me to the 29th Evac Hospital in Can Tho.
Fuck-ing Charlie mortar fire.
But I was lucky.
14 of my buddies went home in pine boxes.