Wearing Cowboy Boots to Toronto

There they were
At the very back of my closet
I smiled
They shined back at me
My black leather
white-stitched Tony Llamas

Why not wear them to Toronto?
It’s winter
The weather forecast says snow, lots of it
My mind is made up
I don the boots

Everything fine and dandy…
until airport security
Nearly fell on my face
Hopping around
Trying to remove the boots
in the security line
My wife rolls her eyes
The lady behind us muffles a laugh
What could I do?
I crack up too

Two hours later
Immigration line, Toronto Airport
I catch the guy next to me
staring at my shiny black boots
He quips: Cowboy, eh?
I saw his smirk
He thought he had me
I paused
He had this one coming
Yessiree
Howdy pardner
I’m Slim Aikens
County western singer from San Antone

Mind you…my cowboy accent is good
The man’s smile vanishes
from his chubby face
He bought my story
Hook, line and sinker
I pushed on
Singin’ at the Royal York tomorrow night
Stop on down

Regaining his composure, the man replies
No thank you
Not much of a country music fan
My wife shoots me a glare at this point
I had gone too far
Several people were now looking our way

We were rescued by the immigration officer
Next!
Occupation? Oh wait I know…
You’re the Country singer Slim Aikens
Reason for your visit to Canada?
Strictly pleasure
Pleasure, eh?
Seems you got an early start in line
He winked and waved us on through

I was in DEEP trouble with my wife
All because of these stupid boots
Needless to say
I removed them in the cab
They never did see Toronto