Older Men and Younger Women

A friend sought my counsel just today
about what younger women think
about older men.
He was insistent; even emphatic,
that I share my thoughts,
and I reluctantly did.

I told him he shouldn’t be stupid, and think
that the years made no difference.
After all, a man in his mid-fifties
and a woman in her late twenties
is like comparing a 1980 Datsun 240Z
to a 2007 Porsche 911 Turbo Coupe.
He reminded me that the Z model held its own
for over thirty years, and
I conceded he had a point there, but
I asked him how old
he would be in 30 years,
and how old a 27-year old woman
would be 30 years from now.
The smile slipped, like a loose glove,
off my friend’s distinguished, but tired face.

My friend sighed and shook his head,
like a boxer taking a hard punch to the gut.
I didn’t mean to be cruel, but
I didn’t want my friend to be hurt.
Recovering more quickly
than I would have ever guessed,
he threw one back at me:
It doesn’t matter to me
if it lasts only a year, a month,
or even one amazing steamy hot night.
Just as long as our bodies are glued together
in seamless embrace,
swimming in each other’s wetness.

I tried to duck, but
his last punch lifted me off my feet
and onto the hard floor.
Trying my best,
I couldn’t get back up.

click here to hear me read this poem.

Author: Don Iannone, D.Div.

Biography Photographer, poet, teacher, complementary medicine provider, interfaith minister, and former economic developer. Holds a Doctorate in Divinity, Master of Divinity, Master of Mind-Body Medicine, and Bachelor of Arts degree in Anthropology. Clinical certifications in Reiki, guided meditation, life purpose coaching, and spiritual counseling.  Author of 12 books, including two new books in the contemporary spirituality field. Learn more here. Contact Information Contact Don Iannone by email: diannone@gmail.com

13 thoughts on “Older Men and Younger Women”

  1. Aurora…Absolutely. I hear what you are saying. And, that is why I gave the advice I did.

    One thing for sure…people create their own realities and therefore they call their own shots and of course must live with the consequences of those shots (choices).

    As one who wants peace and harmony in their world, my deepest wish is that all parties find just that.

  2. Don, what I find creepy about the older man/younger woman aspect is that it’s almost parastic. You know, an older person trying to leech onto a younger to feed off her youth.

    Of course, this isn’t always the case at all. But there was an underlying tone of desperation in your poem from the man’s viewpoint that struck me as such. Again, I’m not making sweeping generalities. I’m simply saying that sometimes that’s what happens.

  3. Thanks Andrew and Floots. Your comments are most appreciated.
    Floots…29, eh? Had ya pegged for 23 or so. 🙂
    Andrew…there is another pairing to consider: older women and younger men.
    I found everyone’s comments to be interesting. Thank you.
    A few words from Don on this poem…
    This poem is, after all is said and done, just a poem; a series of lines and stanzas of words wound together with digital ink on a digital page. And of course, the bundle was intended to carry a message.
    So, how was this poem built? Without divulging the exact circumstances, I devoted most of the poem to the volley back and forth between two men about whether a significant age difference matters in a relationship. For example, it wasn’t established whether the friend was married, divorced, or single. And it wasn’t clear until the very end of the poem what the friend was giving premium value to: hot sex. Of course, after that was reality was known, the rest of the content of the poem seems inconsequential.
    As I thought about this poem, I toyed with developing it around the “greener pastures” theme; that is older man leaves his wife for a younger woman. I didn’t because that seemed too obvious. You know the story: older man seeks to re-gain his youth through a younger woman. It’s an archetypal journey. Then of course, you have this scenario: the younger woman who seeks wealth from an older man. Simply put: she wants his money. That too is a well known story. And yes, there are many other possibilities.
    Ok, now on to the age issue itself.
    Age. Does it matter in relationships? Not always, but in many cases it does if there is a signific ant difference. Eventually it matters in a biological sense. The human body, because of lack of care, genetics, or simply years piling up, doesn’t work like it used to. It also matters in terms of interests and what a person wants to spend his or her life doing. How we use the time we have is very important. The interests of a mid-fifties man and a late twenties woman can vary considerably. Not aways, but often they can.
    How do we manifest our life energies in an overall persona? I know men and women who in their retirement years have minds, bodies and hearts of young people. Conversely, I know age-wise young men and women who have minds, bodies and hearts of golden agers. So, it all depends upon the individual.
    How do we invest our life energies? I know men and women who spend their entire life working and don’t know what else to do with themselves when they retire. I know men and women who spend their entire retirement playing golf because they don’t know what to so with themselves.
    I made up my mind some time back that I would grow new interests at 29 (just like Floots) — 56. New interests help ignite our child within. We discover even as we grow older we can give birth to new things. Poetry is a part of that journey for me. Further education is another–a new masters degree in spirituality and consciousness studies. Exploring new aspects (meditation and yoga) of the spiritual path is another. And I suspect there will be some new professional endeavors as they gel.
    In any case, I welcome any follow-up thoughts you may have on this poem.

  4. age should not matter – but does
    (though journeys over the border can be so beguiling)
    but i’m only twenty nine so what do i know 🙂

  5. Oh Don, I thought I was the only one having these thoughts — don’t know if it makes me feel better, though. 🙂

  6. Polona…thank you for sharing. I guess if we sharpen our inner eyesight we look and see soul to soul, where the real action is.

  7. well, my partner is significantly older than me and we’ve been together for over 20 years… the age difference does show but it need not be a major issue

  8. Thanks David, Aurora, Pat, and Paul. I appreciate your comments about this poem and have read them.

    Paul, interesting story and thanks for sharing it. Did you see my post on your blog about Robert Ellword from Chicago Divinity?

    Aurora, you are probably right about how women would react to this situation.

  9. I’d say it was a draw on points, LOL, but I suppose that in real life, what happens happens. If two people are mutually attracted, they might not even be able to know what’s ahead.

    My mom married someone fourteen years younger and that’s a plus now that she’s almost eighty and needs more help. Probably the furthest thing from their minds when he was thirty and she was fourty four.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: