2 AM Reflections on Life

Sometimes the only time
honesty comes out
is at 2 AM
when the house is quiet
the sky has fallen irreversibly black
and the background noise overtakes
the foreground noise you call your life

Sometimes the only time
you truly hear
the pain of your deepest unfulfilled dream
is when the heat of your desperation causes you
to kick off the covers
and really look at yourself

Sometimes you realize things at 2 AM
that you have avoided all those years
you thought pretending would somehow save you
from facing the darkness that birthed you
and has followed you around
every waking moment of your life

Sometimes you glimpse the pattern
running through all your words, even your silence–
the pattern preventing you from letting go
of even the futile nonsense awakening you at 2 AM
claiming to be your life

Ponderings

It’s not clear
What separates us
From nature, each other
Even certain parts of ourself
We never knew existed
Until we fall flat on our face
Flatter than the horizon
On a hot July afternoon

Then we know
We are not who we think we are
And the world doesn’t exist
To serve, or even enable us
In some arcane remote way
Like how truth follows a butterfly
Or how there is no saving a balloon
From the end of a pin

Funny how such entitled thoughts
Like those featuring us
At the very center of the universe
Pop up and dominate us
Like our third grade teachers
Who taught us fresh air
Helps us avoid cold germs
Yet I wonder, even with all this
Can we ever avoid death?